Parenting Styles and Blog Roundup

Parenting Styles

Many times when we talk about parenting styles there is a negative connotation. So many people have their own ideas about what is right or wrong.

There are so many arguments about parenting styles:

-whether you breastfeed or not
-how long to breastfeed
-when is the appropriate time to potty train
-Is day care good or bad?
-work away from home or stay at home
-when is the right time to take away the pacifier? … and so on.

These kinds of questions can be disheartening, especially from the people we hold most dear in our lives.

Every family is different. Not every child can fit into a cookie cutter style.

The great thing about every person in this world is that we are all different.

If everyone were the same there would be a heck of a lot fewer people.

Don’t let anyone else make you feel inferior because you don’t do things the exactly the way they do all the time.

Every family situation is unique and your parenting style is definitely not going to be the same as anyone else’s. And that’s okay.

We don’t all have to fit a certain mold of parenting styles.

Do whatever works for your little family and makes you happy.

According to the work of Diane Baumrind in the 1960s, one commonly-referenced categorization of parenting styles, there are four…

  • Authoritarian or Disciplinarian
  • Permissive or Indulgent
  • Uninvolved
  • Authoritative

“Authoritarian Parenting Styles

Authoritarian parents are often thought of as disciplinarians.

  • They use a strict discipline style with little negotiation possible. Punishment is common.
  • Communication is mostly one way: from parent to child. Rules usually are not explained.
  • Parents with this style are typically less nurturing.
  • Expectations are high with limited flexibility.

Permissive Parenting Styles

Permissive or Indulgent parents mostly let their children do what they want, and offer limited guidance or direction. They are more like friends than parents.

  • Their discipline style is the opposite of strict. They have limited or no rules and mostly let children figure problems out on their own.
  • Communication is open but these parents let children decide for themselves rather than giving direction.
  • Parents in this category tend to be warm and nurturing.
  • Expectations are typically minimal or not set by these parents.

Uninvolved Parenting Styles

Uninvolved parents give children a lot of freedom and generally stay out of their way. Some parents may make a conscious decision to parent in this way, while others are less interested in parenting or unsure of what to do.

  • No particular discipline style is utilized. An uninvolved parent lets a child mostly do what he wants, probably out of a lack of information or care.
  • Communication is limited.
  • This group of parents offers little nurturing.
  • There are few or no expectations of children.

Authoritative Parenting Styles

Authoritative parents are reasonable and nurturing and set high, clear expectations. Children with parents who demonstrate this style tend to be self-disciplined and think for themselves. This style is thought to be most beneficial to children.

  • Disciplinary rules are clear and the reasons behind them are explained.
  • Communication is frequent and appropriate to the child’s level of understanding.
  • Authoritative parents are nurturing.
  • Expectations and goals are high but stated clearly. Children may have input into goals.

WHAT ARE MY PARENTING STYLES?

Few of us fit neatly into one single parenting style, but rather raise children using a combination of parenting styles.

Think of the four styles as a continuum instead of four distinct ways to parent.

Ideally, we think about our children and what they need from us at specific points in time.

For example, while a parent might not typically adopt an authoritarian parenting style, there might be times in a child’s life when that style is needed. Or you might know an authoritarian parent who is nurturing, contrary to the description above.”

If you do feel like you are floundering in different areas of your parenting journey check out some parenting blogs.

Here are a few posts I recommend right now.

BLOG ROUNDUP

Is Dirty Stressful?

52 of the BEST Love Yourself Quotes for New Moms

14 sexy at-home date-night ideas for parents…after the kids have gone to bed

14 Books that Teach Little Kids All About Love

Even if you don’t hate green beans

Best Tips for Laundry Management for Families

11 Sweet Places for a Kid-Friendly Dessert Date in NYC

9 life lessons from Melissa McCarthy that all moms can relate to.

Here is a post if you are struggling as a stepmom…

A Stepmom’s Guide to Overcoming Jealous Stepkids

15 Things Every Preschool Teacher Needs

7 tricks to create more positive thinking in your life | Spawned ep 102

Surviving A Week Of The Family Stomach Flu

How busy, hardworking mothers create #PocketFullofFun moments with their kids

At the end of the day, you decide what to do and what not to do for your family. No one else has the right to put you down for that. They have their own lives to worry about.

 

Let me know in the comments something another parent has told you that you were doing all wrong.

Vent it out here, and as Elsa says… LET IT GOOOOOO!!! 🙂

Share this post with your mom friends who also deal with the mom shaming.

Hello, my name is Kristen Osborne I am a happy mother of one beautiful little girl. Very into the internet and trying out new things.

Loving yourself does not mean Hating Your Children

LOVING YOURSELF DOES NOT MEAN HATING YOUR CHILDREN

Becoming a mother changes everything … But, not really.

Yes, Your priorities change, your sleep changes (a lot!), your body goes through many changes and your heart expands … but what happens to your identity when you cross over into motherhood?

Can you be a good mother and still be a good woman?

YES!

Here are a few tips to help you start a better balance for you and your child/ren.

  • Start with some affirmations to retrain yourself (you are worth it)

When you change your thoughts, you change your life. In the same fashion, when you change the way you look at things the things you look at change.

Your feelings become more forgiving and more loving. Say these affirmations to yourself as often as possible, so it’s more likely to pop into your mind when you’re under stress.

Some examples are:

-Just as the needs of my children matter, so do my own.
-I am a good mom even as I work to become a better one.
-Motherhood is not made up of one success or failure. but rather by the sum of my parenting choices.
-One bad day does not make me a bad mom. One bad day makes me human.
-I will do my best as a mom and that will always be enough.

  • Meditate (everyone says it because it works)
    Just 10 minutes a few times a day can change your mood for the better.
  • Support yourself (you need it)
    Parenting is the hardest thing any of us will ever do because it requires us to grow.
    So, we all need to give ourselves support if we want to parent well. Instead of berating yourself when you make a mistake, resolve to learn from it. OK, so you lost it and screamed at your child. Stop beating yourself up. Calm yourself down. Apologize. Then, give your little one a hug (trust me it helps).
  • Set aside creative time for yourself 
    Paint, draw, write, scrapbook, etc…
  • Have a girls day out with friends (no talk about kids or bills)
    I know this is a very difficult undertaking but you will be so refreshed and ready to take on the world.
  • Swim, dance, yoga, paint… for relaxation. Whatever interests you
    Anything that you are passionate about
  • Learn to say no to things that don’t benefit anyone in your family
    It’s nice to do things for others but you need to think of the needs of yourself and your family
  • Create a to-do list to organize all the extracurricular activities
    When you have a schedule it’s a lot less stressful and easier to plan out your week.
  • Spend time with your significant other
    Relationships can get very strained with all the responsibilities that come with children and jobs. Take some time out of your busy schedule to have a date night out or even a relaxing night in without the kids. It will not only reinforce a strong bond but it will be a good relaxing time for you as well.

LOVING YOURSELF DOES NOT MEAN HATING YOUR CHILDREN (I had to say it again)

Loving your child hating yourself, it doesn’t have to be so black and white.

In the grand scheme of things. life is tough for everyone. No matter who they are.

The people who are out to make you feel like a horrible mother/woman usually end up being the ones who have a nanny, babysitter, part-time cook, and someone to drive the kids to school. (not judging, if they have the money for it more power to them) What I do judge is people who feel the need to pick on other mother’s who don’t have the money for all of those things and can’t keep up every day. That’s just being a rude hypocrite.

We all have our hard times. Some people just hide it better. And that’s okay.

At the end of the day, your children are fed, mostly clean and happy. Your job is done.

You do not have to be…

If you get to the dishes or the laundry or even the vacuuming (I hate vacuuming with a passion), extra mommy bonus points for you!!!

You are an awesome momma!!!

Thank you for everything you do. You are raising our next generation (maybe a president one day). That is a big job and you are doing great!

Let me know in the comments what one chore you absolutely hate doing and one you actually like to do.

Please share this post with all your mommy friends.

Then…

Check out this post on Over Parenting: Am I doing too much for my Child

Also, go check out That’s Inappropriate for some really great parenting advice and humor. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

loving yourself does not mean hating your children

Hello, my name is Kristen Osborne I am a happy mother of one beautiful little girl. Very into the internet and trying out new things.

7 Struggles of Being a Stay at Home Mom and other things

stay at home mom struggles

As mothers, we often put the needs of our child/ren before our own.

In day to day life, it doesn’t seem like there are ever enough hours to do all of the things we think we need to accomplish.

We beat ourselves up over every mistake, no matter how small, thinking that our child will definitely be upset over it.

“We simply must do everything perfectly all the time”.

In all actuality. making mistakes is a great life lesson for our children. It shows them that no one is perfect and it is okay to mess up sometimes.

We need to learn from our mistakes and move on to better ourselves.

Every day is a new opportunity to teach our children.

Being a parent is not easy, but loving your children is the biggest part.

All of the other stuff will fall into place at the right time.

Patience and consistency are the biggest things in raising children.

STAY AT HOME MOM STRUGGLES

  • People are always asking “What do you DO all day?” (ignore them, your life is none of their business)
  • For most of the day, the only person you talk to besides yourself is under 5 years old. (it can be some very interesting conversation)
  • You are always reheating your coffee multiple times a day even though you ultimately only take about 3 sips. (maybe its more healthy for you)
  • Deciding if you actually want to get dressed for the day is a struggle in itself (If I’m not going anywhere, I don’t put on real pants… I’m not ashamed)
  • If there is an illness going around the school, you will get it, even if your child doesn’t actually show any symptoms.
  • The days you need to get things done during naptime… naptime lasts about 4.5 minutes.
  • You always seem to have an unidentifiable substance on your clothing and don’t realize it until you’re in public.

Parenting is hard.

No matter what we do, there will always be someone telling us that our way is wrong or we should not allow our child/ren to do this or that.

Do not give those people the time of day. No one else knows your little family the way you do, you are doing a great job! Keep it up!

 

After reading this post, what do you think is the biggest thing that you struggle with as a mother?

Let me know in the comments and please share this with your mom friends.

 

Hello, my name is Kristen Osborne I am a happy mother of one beautiful little girl. Very into the internet and trying out new things.

Disciplining Children: Six Ideas to help with your Stubborn Child

Love your child(ren)? Of course, you do. So when he or she misbehaves on a consistent basis, what’s the best way to administer discipline?

Well, as you may be aware, there is a wide range of thought on this subject. One school of thought teaches essentially hand’s off, and says, the little darlings are very intelligent, so let them figure it all out on their own. No punishment or reward systems.
The fact is that anyone who actually watches children behave – without preset mental filters – will almost certainly come to the conclusion that each child responds differently. Some children have a very high “pain” threshold. They can take whatever penalties you set as they stubbornly refuse to do what they should. There are others who can be easily motivated by various token systems.
So how do you find out what method of discipline will work for your child(ren)?
In a word: experiment!
Here are six ideas for proceeding.
#1 – Put on your “scientist hat.” Research what’s out there. No author knows your child better than you do. But many researchers have seen thousands of kids and had opportunities to try various strategies with children and their families. So knowing what’s been done before is a very good strategy to start.
#2 – Once you have a sense of what is possible, start interacting with your children. Bear in mind that we live in societies that are increasingly filled with busybodies who do everything they can to blur the lines between discipline and abuse. So be careful as you try different discipline ideas.
Important note: as you try these ideas, it is critically important that you (a) remember your main goal: raising good, intelligent children. And (b) be patient. This is as much an experiment for them as it is for you. They’ve never been where they are right now. It’s their first time being a kid at the age they are. And remember, you’re not dealing with lab rats here. You’re dealing with your children. Never lose sight of that.
#3 – When you find something that seems to work, don’t think you can finally relax. Usually, short-term hits to the bulls-eye with long-term success are few and far between. Your child may be responding to novelty as much as to the discipline. When the novelty wears off – and it will – your child may very well revert to the old behaviors that you tried to change. Novelty has a tough time lasting more than a few weeks. So give things at least 3-6 weeks to see if the changes are enduring.
child
#4 – Tweak before you make major changes in your efforts. For example, suppose you are rewarding your kid(s) with pizza at the end of the week if certain things are done right. And suppose you have reason to believe they are responding to novelty rather than the measures themselves. Rather than junking the measures, tweak them a bit to determine if your suspicion is valid. For example, you might vary the food rewards and say, “Look – if you do the right things, you get to pick what we have for Friday dinner.” You might be on the right track and tweaking gives you a chance to really find out.
#5 – If tweaking doesn’t work, then, by all means, try new approaches, keeping in mind all of the above.
#6 – Finally, be humble enough to know that you might need professional family help in the form of therapists and other counselor types. You’ve got to be careful here because these professionals vary widely in terms of competence and also in terms of appropriateness for your family. For example, some therapists suggest Ritalin as the first line of therapeutic intervention if the child is having trouble in school. You have a right to be skeptical in such situations. Listen to your own inner voice here.
Finally, use common sense. It sounds strange, but the fact is that no matter what professional help you may seek out, no matter what books you read, and no matter what online forums you participate in – YOU will be making the decisions. You are responsible, good or bad. Use the best judgment you can and proceed with caution.
Do you have a difficult child? How have you been dealing with discipline so far? Leave me a comment about your experience with disciplining your children.
I hope you are having a wonderful week!

Hello, my name is Kristen Osborne I am a happy mother of one beautiful little girl. Very into the internet and trying out new things.

Christmas Fun: A distraction from the Holiday Chaos!

I usually do this type of favorites post at the beginning of the next month. But, this month, I decided to make it somewhat Christmas themed. I wanted to do this to give us a little chuckle in the midst of the Holiday stress.

It never fails to happen every year. You plan to start your shopping and planning for the holiday earlier than last year. You have the best of intentions on completing all of the tasks on your to-do list.

Then, you get sidetrack by this thing, that thing, then the other thing. Next thing you know, It’s the week of Christmas and you are even more behind than you were this time last year.

My advice? Christmas fun distraction.

Relax! You always come out on top every year with time to spare and a few extra things are done that you didn’t think you would have time for during the chaos.

You might say, “Oh, But the only reason I got everything done so well is that I pushed myself and stressed about everything.”

To that, I say, “Yea, maybe. But, did you enjoy yourself and the company of family and friends?”.

If the answer to that is “No.” Then try to relax, read some of these articles and other stuff and share it with your family and friends for some quality time together.

Join me for some Christmas fun distraction!

Christmas Fun! Pinterest Board

 

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.” Victor Borge

“The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most terrifying words that the government allows to be printed on any product: “Some assembly required.” John Leo

“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” Joan Rivers

“Charlie, stay away from those things. They’re reindeer, you don’t know where they’ve been. They all look like they’ve got key lime disease.” Scott Calvin in The Santa Clause

Read more: http://www.keepinspiring.me/funny-christmas-quotes/#ixzz51uevK6Uu

 

DIY Unicorn Ornament

Amy’s Notebook 12-20-2017

 

I hope you have a Happy, Healthy and Safe Holiday Season!!!

What is the one thing that stresses you out the most every Christmas?

Let me know in the comments!

christmas fun distraction

 

Gingerbread and Mistletoe

 

 

Hello, my name is Kristen Osborne I am a happy mother of one beautiful little girl. Very into the internet and trying out new things.

How to Design a Child-Friendly Cleaning Schedule

Guest Post: James is a writer and cleaning expert from the UK. He’s currently editor of SpotlessVacuum.co.uk, which is a site dedicated to helping consumers buy the right vacuum cleaner. When he’s not writing, he enjoys long hiking trips with his family and two dogs.  

How to Design a Child-Friendly Cleaning Schedule

With the holiday season fast approaching, you’re probably searching for ways to make cleaning more efficient. It’s hard enough keeping a house tidy during the rest of the year – add over-excited children, presents, and mountains of food, and you have the perfect recipe for stress!

That’s why I’ve put together a step-by-step guide to designing a cleaning schedule that works for you and your children. Creating a schedule might seem like a lot of work, but it can help you clean the house faster so you can spend more time enjoying the holidays.

Step 1: Write Down All the Tasks You Need to Complete

Trying to remember each chore can make you feel like you’re constantly playing catch up. For this reason, the first step is to write down everything you need to clean and how often.

This list should be specific to your house and children. It should also contain everything – including infrequent chores. Even if you only need to clean the grout once a month, it still goes on the list.

Step 2: Decide Whether You Need Any New Tools

Most tasks don’t need fancy tools or appliances, but if you’re spending more time on a chore than you should be then it might be worth upgrading.

A good example is a vacuum cleaner. The best vacuum cleaners can make quick work of dust, dirt and pet hair. They can also tackle tough tasks like cleaning a car, by making it easy to remove dirt under seats or in glove compartments. Low-quality models, on the other hand, have weak suction power and often struggle to pick up dirt. This means you’ll spend more time cleaning for worse results.

Step 3: Choose Your Timings

There are many ways you can design a cleaning schedule. Here are some of the most common options:

  • The Weekly “Blow Out.” In this schedule, you do most of your cleaning chores during a single day of the week. It’s great if you work long hours or just don’t have time during the week – but it’s potentially the most stressful.
  • Daily Timed Sessions. One of my favorite cleaning schedules is to set a timer for a fixed length of time each day. You clean until the timer goes, then continue the next day where you left off.
  • The Ultra Schedule. If you want to be completely organized, you can use an app like Todoist to schedule every task in advance. You could, for example, schedule vacuuming once a week on Fridays, laundry every other day and mowing the lawn twice a month on Saturdays. You’ll never miss a chore with this method, but it’s also the least flexible.
  • Room-By-Room. Another option is to assign each room a day of the week. You then complete all the cleaning chores for that room on the specified day.

The right option depends on you and your children’s lives. Do your kids have lots of after-school activities and events? If so, a mixture of quick cleans in the evening and a longer session at the weekend might be a good choice. Do you spend all-day Saturday at your child’s sports games? Then a schedule that spreads out cleaning evenly throughout the week might be a better choice.

Step 4: Fit Tasks Into Your Schedule

Now you know which tasks need to be completed and when you’re planning to clean, the next step is to fit everything together. This is easier than it sounds, but how you create your schedule depends on the type you chose.

If you’re using daily timed sessions, for example, you can just write a long list of chores and work through them in order. The great thing about this method is that you don’t need to worry about finishing everything in one session, as you know you’ll continue tomorrow.

For the weekly blow-out option, write a list of everything that needs to be done on your cleaning day. You could also create a separate list of chores that need to be completed during the week (such as laundry or dishwashing).

Step 5: Remember to be Adaptable

The purpose of a cleaning schedule is to reduce stress and help you clean more effectively. While it’s important to stick to the routine, don’t worry if you miss a day. The schedule is for you – it should never be another source of stress.

This is especially important during the holiday season. There are going to be unexpected chores and clean-ups, which may mean you don’t have time for your scheduled tasks. This is fine – just adapt the schedule and move on.

Summary

I hope this article has helped you design a cleaning schedule that’s faster and less stressful. It might seem like a daunting process, but it doesn’t need to be perfect or set in stone. Give it a try – especially if you’re already starting to worry about the holiday season mess!

How did you like this article?  Do you think these tips will help you this holiday season?

Let me know what your Holiday cleaning schedule consists of this year?

Have a happy healthy Holiday!!!

Hello, my name is Kristen Osborne I am a happy mother of one beautiful little girl. Very into the internet and trying out new things.

Over-Parenting: Am I doing too much for my child?

Over-Parenting: Are You Doing Too Much for Your Child?

This is a somewhat uncomfortable subject, but there seems to be a concern these days over parents who “do too much.”

The problem of “learned helplessness” has reared its head lately, as children struggle to be independent after having everything done for them.

Are you over-parenting? Are you doing too much for your child? How can you tell?

First of all, be easy on yourself. Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty or condemned. Just take a look at your parenting and check out these tips, and make adjustments where you see fit.

1. “It’s Just Easier to Do It Myself”

Yes, in the short term, it is. Who has the time to listen to their seven-year-old gripe about tying his or her shoes – and act like he “can’t” by doing it wrong on purpose – when you need to get out the door or be late? In some cases, it’s better to be late…or anticipate this delay and allow time for it. Likely, it will only happen a few times before your child gets the hint that s/he better just tie their shoes.

Please note, though, that this will only work if your child knows how to do the task you’re expecting, whether it’s tying shoes or getting dressed or making the bed. If your child really doesn’t know how to do something, take the time to teach him/her first so that you both don’t end up frustrated. That brings us to the next point…

2. Give Your Kids Tools

Parents can err in two extremes – on the one hand, we do too much and don’t let them do anything on their own; but on the other hand, we can’t expect our kids to do things they don’t know how to do. The middle ground is giving kids the tools they need and then getting out of the way.

“Tools” come in the form of life skills, from preparing food to school projects to job interviews. If you step aside too soon, your child may not have the tools s/he needs to go forward with the task at hand and may give up. If you step in too often or too soon, your child may presume s/he can’t do it (or not care to bother since you’re doing it) and also give up. So a good idea is to teach your kids the skills involved and then step aside once you know that they know.

Sometimes, that means giving how-to details that can seem ridiculous to an adult but are necessary for a child.

3. Are You Fostering Internal Motivation?

Ultimately, motivation must come from within for true independence, say experts. Broad requests like “do your homework” or “clean your room” can seem overwhelming (think “clean your house” if you’re an adult! It’s a huge task when you phrase it that way).

Coaching and encouragement are fine, experts note; that’s not the same as doing the task for your child. Try making a checklist so s/he can see the steps involved in the chore or task at hand. Instead of “do your homework,” for example, you could make a list like this:

* Find comfy place to set up books
* Get a drink and a snack
* Write out spelling words and study list
* Do math worksheet
* Read chapter of book and write paragraph summary

You can break it down further, too, into sub-steps – whatever works for your child. Also, a list (preferably one your child helps write out) keeps you from having to tell him/her what to do over and over.

How do you teach your children things to do for themselves, that you normally did for them, around the house?

Let me know in the comments.

I hope you have a happy, healthy, and safe Thanksgiving.

I am so thankful that you took the time to read my post and I hope it helps you in some way.

 

 

Hello, my name is Kristen Osborne I am a happy mother of one beautiful little girl. Very into the internet and trying out new things.