Loving yourself does not mean Hating Your Children

LOVING YOURSELF DOES NOT MEAN HATING YOUR CHILDREN

Becoming a mother changes everything … But, not really.

Yes, Your priorities change, your sleep changes (a lot!), your body goes through many changes and your heart expands … but what happens to your identity when you cross over into motherhood?

Can you be a good mother and still be a good woman?

YES!

Here are a few tips to help you start a better balance for you and your child/ren.

  • Start with some affirmations to retrain yourself (you are worth it)

When you change your thoughts, you change your life. In the same fashion, when you change the way you look at things the things you look at change.

Your feelings become more forgiving and more loving. Say these affirmations to yourself as often as possible, so it’s more likely to pop into your mind when you’re under stress.

Some examples are:

-Just as the needs of my children matter, so do my own.
-I am a good mom even as I work to become a better one.
-Motherhood is not made up of one success or failure. but rather by the sum of my parenting choices.
-One bad day does not make me a bad mom. One bad day makes me human.
-I will do my best as a mom and that will always be enough.

  • Meditate (everyone says it because it works)
    Just 10 minutes a few times a day can change your mood for the better.
  • Support yourself (you need it)
    Parenting is the hardest thing any of us will ever do because it requires us to grow.
    So, we all need to give ourselves support if we want to parent well. Instead of berating yourself when you make a mistake, resolve to learn from it. OK, so you lost it and screamed at your child. Stop beating yourself up. Calm yourself down. Apologize. Then, give your little one a hug (trust me it helps).
  • Set aside creative time for yourself 
    Paint, draw, write, scrapbook, etc…
  • Have a girls day out with friends (no talk about kids or bills)
    I know this is a very difficult undertaking but you will be so refreshed and ready to take on the world.
  • Swim, dance, yoga, paint… for relaxation. Whatever interests you
    Anything that you are passionate about
  • Learn to say no to things that don’t benefit anyone in your family
    It’s nice to do things for others but you need to think of the needs of yourself and your family
  • Create a to-do list to organize all the extracurricular activities
    When you have a schedule it’s a lot less stressful and easier to plan out your week.
  • Spend time with your significant other
    Relationships can get very strained with all the responsibilities that come with children and jobs. Take some time out of your busy schedule to have a date night out or even a relaxing night in without the kids. It will not only reinforce a strong bond but it will be a good relaxing time for you as well.

LOVING YOURSELF DOES NOT MEAN HATING YOUR CHILDREN (I had to say it again)

Loving your child hating yourself, it doesn’t have to be so black and white.

In the grand scheme of things. life is tough for everyone. No matter who they are.

The people who are out to make you feel like a horrible mother/woman usually end up being the ones who have a nanny, babysitter, part-time cook, and someone to drive the kids to school. (not judging, if they have the money for it more power to them) What I do judge is people who feel the need to pick on other mother’s who don’t have the money for all of those things and can’t keep up every day. That’s just being a rude hypocrite.

We all have our hard times. Some people just hide it better. And that’s okay.

At the end of the day, your children are fed, mostly clean and happy. Your job is done.

You do not have to be…

If you get to the dishes or the laundry or even the vacuuming (I hate vacuuming with a passion), extra mommy bonus points for you!!!

You are an awesome momma!!!

Thank you for everything you do. You are raising our next generation (maybe a president one day). That is a big job and you are doing great!

Let me know in the comments what one chore you absolutely hate doing and one you actually like to do.

Please share this post with all your mommy friends.

Then…

Check out this post on Over Parenting: Am I doing too much for my Child

Also, go check out That’s Inappropriate for some really great parenting advice and humor. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

loving yourself does not mean hating your children

Hello, my name is Kristen Osborne I am a happy mother of one beautiful little girl. Very into the internet and trying out new things.

9 Replies to “Loving yourself does not mean Hating Your Children”

  1. I hate taking out the trash, but I love the cleaning the kitchen counters! Mostly I just love the feeling when it’s done and the kitchen is calm. Lasts for 20 seconds but oh well! Great post! I love your message that it doesn’t have to be you or the kids!
    Misadventureswithmegan.com

  2. Gosh this is incredible. This has truly been one of the biggest lessons I have had to learn since becoming a mommy. But I’m finding my way, and learning the balance. Thank you so much for sharing this, mama!! ❤️💕

    1. It is so difficult to find a balance. But, it is so important to take time for yourself away from the kids. Thank you for your comment.

  3. Gosh this is incredible. This has been one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn since becoming a mommy. Thanks to fellow mommies like you, I’m finding my way. Thanks mama ❤️💕

  4. I hate cleaning the kitchen. It might be different if I had a dishwasher, but for now, that is the worst! (Followed closely by laundry since the washers and dryers are 3 floors down.)

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