Over-Parenting: Are You Doing Too Much for Your Child?
This is a somewhat uncomfortable subject, but there seems to be a concern these days over parents who “do too much.”
The problem of “learned helplessness” has reared its head lately, as children struggle to be independent after having everything done for them.
Are you over-parenting? Are you doing too much for your child? How can you tell?
First of all, be easy on yourself. Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty or condemned. Just take a look at your parenting and check out these tips, and make adjustments where you see fit.
1. “It’s Just Easier to Do It Myself”
Yes, in the short term, it is. Who has the time to listen to their seven-year-old gripe about tying his or her shoes – and act like he “can’t” by doing it wrong on purpose – when you need to get out the door or be late? In some cases, it’s better to be late…or anticipate this delay and allow time for it. Likely, it will only happen a few times before your child gets the hint that s/he better just tie their shoes.
Please note, though, that this will only work if your child knows how to do the task you’re expecting, whether it’s tying shoes or getting dressed or making the bed. If your child really doesn’t know how to do something, take the time to teach him/her first so that you both don’t end up frustrated. That brings us to the next point…
2. Give Your Kids Tools
Parents can err in two extremes – on the one hand, we do too much and don’t let them do anything on their own; but on the other hand, we can’t expect our kids to do things they don’t know how to do. The middle ground is giving kids the tools they need and then getting out of the way.
“Tools” come in the form of life skills, from preparing food to school projects to job interviews. If you step aside too soon, your child may not have the tools s/he needs to go forward with the task at hand and may give up. If you step in too often or too soon, your child may presume s/he can’t do it (or not care to bother since you’re doing it) and also give up. So a good idea is to teach your kids the skills involved and then step aside once you know that they know.
Sometimes, that means giving how-to details that can seem ridiculous to an adult but are necessary for a child.
3. Are You Fostering Internal Motivation?
Ultimately, motivation must come from within for true independence, say experts. Broad requests like “do your homework” or “clean your room” can seem overwhelming (think “clean your house” if you’re an adult! It’s a huge task when you phrase it that way).
Coaching and encouragement are fine, experts note; that’s not the same as doing the task for your child. Try making a checklist so s/he can see the steps involved in the chore or task at hand. Instead of “do your homework,” for example, you could make a list like this:
* Find comfy place to set up books
* Get a drink and a snack
* Write out spelling words and study list
* Do math worksheet
* Read chapter of book and write paragraph summary
You can break it down further, too, into sub-steps – whatever works for your child. Also, a list (preferably one your child helps write out) keeps you from having to tell him/her what to do over and over.
How do you teach your children things to do for themselves, that you normally did for them, around the house?
Let me know in the comments.
I hope you have a happy, healthy, and safe Thanksgiving.
I am so thankful that you took the time to read my post and I hope it helps you in some way.
(There are affiliate links in this post. If you click them and choose to make a purchase I could make a commission at no extra cost to you.)
Every year when the time to start shopping for Christmas gifts rolls around, I am at a loss. I seem to always be the last in the know.
Firstly, I never know what is the “It” toy for that year. I didn’t find out about the egg “hatchimal” thing until about a week before Christmas last year.Everyone and their uncle
Everyone and their uncle was losing their minds trying to find that thing. Most of the reviews I read were somewhat negative and the majority said it took way to long to “hatch”.
This year I’ve done a little research and looked up the Amazon Hot Toy list to get a jump on the “it” toys for this year.
THE ABSOLUTE BEST CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR KIDS
This first one jumped out at me and I really want to get it for Allie. It is really nostalgic for me 🙂
Teddy Ruxpin is back!!!
This guy was a staple during my childhood. Until he started to lose his battery and sounded like a devil bear. But, I’m sure they fixed that freaky feature.
1- Teddy Ruxpin – Official Return of the Storytime and Magical Bear
This next one is pretty cool.
Great for a child who is a logical thinker.
2- ALEX Toys Future Coders Poppin’ Pictures Coding Skills Kit
I think this one would be great for the young child who loves building models.
3- Kids First Automobile Engineer Kit
This is such a cute little playset for the My Little Pony Lover in your life.
4- My Little Pony: The Movie Seashell Lagoon Playset
Allie is a Paw Patrol lover so this would be a great gift this year.
5- Paw Patrol – My Size Lookout Tower with Exclusive Vehicle, Rotating Periscope and Lights, and Sounds
Uh-Oh this is another one Allie would really love from the Paw Patrol
6- Paw Patrol Sea Patroller Transforming Vehicle with Lights and Sounds
We might be in trouble, Allie also loves the PJ Masks.
Do you have a Cat Boy lover in your family? This would be a great gift for them.
7- PJ Masks Cat Boy Car
More PJ Masks!!!
8- Just Play PJ Masks Headquarters Playset
This would be great for your learning little one on the move.
9- Fisher-Price Think & Learn Teach ‘N Tag Movi
Allie’s Daddy loves buying our family members children Nerf guns almost every year. So, I had to have a Nerf option on my list 🙂
I just had to include this one because I think it is just so cute and fun!
11- Zoomer – Show Pony with Lights, Sounds and Interactive Movement
12- Klutz LEGO Chain Reactions Craft Kit
Design and build amazing moving machines!!!
This one is so cool I might even play with it on my own!
13- K’NEX Kid K`Nex Budding Builders Tub Building Kit
This one is pretty cool and you can’t go wrong with a race car and a track
14- Lionel Mega Tracks – Corkscrew Chaos Green Engine
Having a toy with colors, shapes, and ways to make different sounds is a great teaching tool for young children. So, this is a great choice for a gift this year
15- Hape Pound & Tap Bench / Educo Early Melodies Pound and Tap Bench
I chose this because it looks like it would be a great, fun choice for the family game night.
16- Soggy Doggy Board Game
This one is a bit on the expensive side but if you have the money to spare and more than one child I think this would be a great little set.
17- Melissa & Doug Deluxe Star Diner Restaurant
This one is just fun. Play Mat and all Plastic Components React in the Dark with the UV LED Glasses or UV Pen Light. Make Cars, Run Them into Each Other, or into the Walls, Watch Them Crash and Fall Apart
I think this one is a great choice for your little one to learn colors, how to play a structured game, and the different animals.
19- Color Wooden Blocks Cartoon Stacking Game for Kids 51 pieces
Get this one for your little Mickey and the Roadster Racers fan build and refuel the car ready for Mickey Mouse’s next big race.
20- LEGO DUPLO Brand Disney Mickey Racer 10843 Building Kit (15 Piece)
A great set of tools for kids to use their imagination and “build” some fun.
21- Kids Tool Set, Construction Toys for Pretend Play-36 PCS of Repair Accessories & Tool Box for Boys and Girls
I have been wanting to get this for Allie for a few months and I think it will be a great Christmas gift this year!
I put these 2 games together because I believe they are a must to have when your children are young. Such fun games to play together as a family, no matter how old they get 🙂
23- Chutes and Ladders and Candy Land
24- IMDEN Magnetic Blocks, Magnetic Building Set, Magnetic Tiles, Educational Toys for Baby/Kids, 92 Piece
I don’t know any child who doesn’t love magic tricks and trying them out on their own. So, I know this is going to be a big hit this year.
This is my list of the Top 25 Hot Christmas Gifts for 2017.
Hopefully, you got some ideas for your children or your family members Christmas gifts this year.
Have you thought about your Christmas shopping yet this year? Are you one of the many people who wait until Black Friday or later to start shopping?
What is your plan to tackle the Christmas shopping madness this year?
Let me know in the comments.
Have a wonderful week!!!
I think that this may very well be my favorite time of year. The weather is (usually) cooler and more bearable. The trees and other parts of nature change in such vibrant ways. We all seem to get a little boost of energy with the brisk Fall air around us.
But, my very favorite part would have to be HALLOWEEN!!!
I love seeing all the decorations and the pumpkins carved into silly or scary faces, or even just painted with such artistic ability it is amazing.
The best part of Halloween, in my opinion, is all the cute costumes the kids choose every year. I just can’t get over how cute they are as little cows, pumpkins or princesses.
So, here are my choices for the most popular costumes of 2017, just in case you haven’t had a chance to get your child’s or even your own yet.
THE MOST POPULAR FAMILY HALLOWEEN COSTUMES OF 2017
First on my list, is this incredibly cute little cowboy costume. I love the hat and the belt buckle!!
I really love Mickey and Minnie costumes, this one is especially cute 🙂
This is the cutest little Superman I have ever seen 🙂
Wonder Woman is all the rage right now so I know this is going to be a very popular costume for young ladies.
This dinosaur costume seems to be very popular. It is so funny especially when the wearer tries to run 🙂
I absolutely love this cute baby-sized Supergirl Costume! I really like the headband bow and the little booties.
Here is a tasteful choice for mom… 🙂
And a silly one for dad…
You can even get a costume for your dog 🙂
(just click the image– this is an affiliate link If you click and make a purchase I could earn a commission at no extra cost to you— all of the views expressed in the post are my own. I highly recommend findcostume.com for all of your Halloween needs).
Has your child already chosen their Halloween costume for this year?
Let me know what they are going to dress up as in the comments.
I love to hear about all the great costume ideas everyone has every year 🙂
Allie is going as Shimmer from Shimmer and Shine
Here she is trying on her costume…
Have a happy safe and fun Halloween!!!
This is a guest post by Michael from ThinkCrucial.com, a home improvement brand that helps people save money on replacement parts.
Kid Friendly House Cleaning Tips to Try Today
When you have a child, there is one more person making a mess and not cleaning it up, which can lead to some overwhelming clutter. While your child shouldn’t be handling toilet cleaner at the age of three or fixing light bulbs at the age of six, there are plenty age appropriate tasks your child can help with around the house. There may not be enough time in between all of the everyday tasks you need to complete to spend time cleaning, so here are some timely, kid-friendly tips for cleaning that you can try today.
Make a Chore Chart
Get creative with this tip and make a simple or themed chore chart. Your kids can be earning different items (made from paper) like Olympic medals or balloons, and once they’ve earned enough, they can redeem their earnings for a prize. You can make a chart online of different chores that need to be done and who should do them, print it out, and hang it somewhere that’s easily seen. If you put yourself and your significant other on the chore chart, you can even reward yourself for getting your work done and your child sees that they’re not the only one doing things around the house.
Don’t Use Harsh Chemical Cleaners
A quick trip to the store can get you some vinegar, hydrogen peroxide or any other child-safe cleaner. If your kids will be helping with the cleaning up, you won’t want to be using bleach or any other harsh chemical. Not only are harsher chemicals not safe for your child, but kids can spill it on other fabrics and ruin valuables. Hydrogen peroxide can be used to whiten, vinegar to get out smells, and other child safe cleaners can teach your child how to clean while not hurting them.
Have a Cleaning Competition
If you have more than one kid, you can give them separate tasks to clean the same room or different rooms as quickly and as well as they can. One child can clean up wearable items while the other cleans up trash and playthings, or someone cleans the living room while the other cleans the kitchen. Whoever cleans up the fastest gets a prize. The cleaning will be done faster and you can judge the winner by how well they cleaned up so they have the incentive to clean up quickly, but efficiently.
Make Clean Up Cards
Sometimes it’s helpful to put the different cleaning tasks in writing. If your child can read, make clean up cards that give details and pictures for what needs to be done in any room they’ll be cleaning. It can be daunting for a child to try to clean a whole bathroom, but if there are instructions written down, they can complete the task in stages to make cleaning more manageable. They also won’t forget how to do it if it’s written down for them.
Use a Song as a Time frame
Incorporating dance into your child’s cleaning routine can make the task more fun while also giving a time for the task to be completed by. You can have your child wipe up a mess they made, clean up clothes, or sweep while playing their favorite song. The cleaning is done quickly and it takes minimal effort to put on the song. Then, they can dance for the rest of the song if they complete the task early enough.
Try Your Best to Prevent the Mess
Child proofing your home is not only beneficial for your child’s safety but your sanity as well. Putting a childproof lock on easy-to-reach cabinets can help prevent a mess to clean up in the first place. Move anything breakable higher up so your kids can’t reach it. You can also purchase bowls or cups that make it harder for your child to make a mess everywhere. You have less to worry about if there’s not as much mess, to begin with.
Accidents happen, so of course, messes will be a part of your life if you have children. There are plenty of kid friendly ways to make the kids involved in the cleaning up process so you don’t have to do everything yourself. So try these tips to save time and get your kids to clean up after themselves. It teaches responsibility and helps keep you sane.
We all know, the summer heat is not going away anytime soon. So, your kids may be spending a lot of their time inside the house.
Here are some DIY craft/activities to keep the kids busy.
12 DIY Crafts
-Wooden Peg Dolls are all the rage but it can get expensive to buy individual dolls, especially if you have more than one child. They are very easy to make and the materials are inexpensive. Check out this tutorial to make your own wooden peg dolls.
-Felt boards! A twist on paper dolls… Felt Monsters you don’t have to make them into monsters you can make princesses or knights and dragons. Your children’s imagination has no limits 🙂
-Homemade musical instruments… kids love making noise, what better way to teach them that with musical instruments? Tin Can Drums
-Choose your child’s favorite colors and make these cards. Craft Foam Sewing Cards
-These ABC Game Pieces are a fun learning tool for tracing or letter learning.
-Are you a mom of an infant? This is a great learning tool. Infant Sensory Boards Bright colors, a variety of textures, and fabric colors.
-Two words…. Homemade Playdough
-A Marble Run is a great way to prevent boredom. Hours of fun and laughter with this great activity.
-Make learning fun with this Sight Words Treasure Hunt. Somewhat like a scavenger hunt, but they are looking for letters to spell out the words.
-Always a winner with young children is Homemade Finger Paints.
-The Hot Air Balloon Craft is a really fun activity for kids and parents to enjoy.
-Tic-Tac-Toe is a fun game for everyone. Make this DIY game set out of durable fabric so you and your children can enjoy it time and again.
51 Activities for Hot Days
- Run through the sprinklers
- Visit a water park
- Take a picnic to the beach, Pack lots of cold, refreshing drinks.
- Visit an ice cream parlor
- Fill water toys with ice cold water and chase the family outside
- Go to the bookstore and browse all the great new releases
- Go to the movies
- Read a book together
- Make your own ice pops
- Rent a DVD or stream a Netflix movie for the whole family
- Let the kids have fun washing the car (with your supervision)
- Go to a Baseball game
- Help the kids set up a lemonade stand
- Go to a bowling alley
- Visit a local aquarium
- BOARD GAMES
- Box fans are great for robot voices
- Go to the library and show your kids your favorite old books
- Get the kids together and do a random act of kindness
- Get out the coloring books and color in silly ways
- Play a game of hide and seek
- Build a fort with pillows and blankets
- Do some baking
- Get the kids interested in dusting by making it a game
- Dance (make up silly moves and have a contest)
- Learn a new song
- Have an indoor picnic
- Have a tea party
- Make roads on the floor with painters tape and race toy cars
- Play kitchen and pretend to cook for each other
- Dress up
- Put together a large puzzle (put it in a place where it can stay out for a while and work on it a bit every day)
- Create your own song with your kid’s toy instruments and encourage them to use their imaginations
- Sticker Collage (have the kids put stickers on paper n any way they want
- Take a nap (Hot air can make you very tired. Drink a glass of water and then take a nap with the kids)
- Have a painting party with watercolors
- Play a card game
- Guess what? (put an object in a paper bag, and have your children close their eyes and they feel it and try to guess what it is)
- Grocery Store (let kids “shop” around the house and chek out with fake money)
- Go see some local indoor attractions
- Set up a small tent in the house and pretend to go camping
- Put on a puppet show
- Play with a train set
- Make a craft basket (anything that can be used to craft goes in the basket. whenever they are bored they can get the basket and make something
- Take silly pictures
- Make shadow puppets on the wall
- Balloon toss (make sure the balloon doesn’t touch the ground
- Gather some medium sized rocks. Wash them and paint them into “pet rocks”
- Scavenger Hunt
- Push each of the kids around in the laundry basket (extra points for getting them to help with folding and putting away before the fun ride in the basket).
Extremely hot days can be boring for the kids. Hopefully, this list gave you some ideas for fun family activities to fight the boredom and the heat.
Is there anything not on this list that you like to do on those hot summer days?
Let me know in the comments and please share if you enjoyed this post.
Family Year Review of the things we have been doing for the past year.
Around this time of the holiday season I find myself thinking over this past year as sort of a family year in review.
So many things happen in the short span of a year. We seem to easily forget and/or rush through many of these things. It is a nice exercise to go back and reminisce on our experiences with family and friends.
In the spirit of the Holidays, I got to thinking about the things we have done this year. I would like to share with everyone my experiences.
Family Year Review
In February, for Valentine’s Day, Allie’s daddy took mommy to the Art Museum. I really enjoyed it. The talent of these artists through the years is so inspiring. I had an amazing time and I can’t wait to go again.
We got a hotel room for the night in a very swanky place. We ordered room service and watched a few movies. While Allie was hanging out with mom-mom for the night. It was a much needed time of relaxation and fun.
The next thing for this year is that I started this blog on March 9. It is still greatly in its infancy. But, I take it in stride because everyone works at their own pace. I can do this in my own time. Mostly, I get distracted by this pretty face.
But she is obviously a welcome distraction. She is of course my reason for this blog.
Early in the year was very relaxing and we did not have much to do the first couple of months. Although, we were preparing for a Wedding. Allie was the Flower girl in Uncle Andrew and Aunt Kait’s Wedding on April 2. She did such a great job!!!
Then on May 21, 2016 my baby girl turned 2!
Our little girl is growing up so fast. She has greatly exceeded our expectations. Allie is so very smart at just over 2 1/2 years (31 months).
Next, we had planned to move out and into our own place around the middle of June. That plan had fallen through at the last minute. We are still living with Allie’s daddy’s mom. We do plan on getting our own place in the not to distant future. Right now we are saving money.
A few months go by and we have a pretty relaxing time.
Then we went to a 4th of July (also happens to be my birthday) party. My mom and niece watched Allie so we could have a good time without worrying.
I had such a good time that I neglected to take any pictures. That I am very sad about…
Then a little more time goes by, hanging out with my beautiful little girl.
Then, we went to the zoo a few times. Allie and mommy really love the zoo, especially the giraffes.
Then, Halloween snuck up on us so quick.
We went to a Halloween party similar to the 4th of July party, only we wore costumes and it was at night. 🙂 Also had a good time that I didn’t take any pictures. Again, I am very sad about it.
Allie had a really fun time Trick or Treating this year. She walked up to almost every house with daddy close behind. Said Trick or Treat and Thank you to everyone.
If you give Allie more than one thing at a time, she will take 1 at a time and say thank you after each one. So, needless to say, any house that we went to who thought she was the cutest kitty decided to give her 4 or 5 pieces of candy. So for almost a full 40 seconds she would stand there taking one at a time and putting it in her bag. Every person got such a kick out of it.
She also had to pet every dog that was any where near her at any given time.
Allie was dressed up like a pretty Kitty Cat (Allie Cat). She loved her costume very much.
Thanksgiving is pretty much the same every year. We go to my brothers and have a great dinner that his wife cooks. She is a great cook!
Then we go shopping on black Friday. This year, just like last year, we got almost everything on our list. We had just a few more things to purchase for our family and friends.
Christmas Eve came and we went to my brothers for the gift exchange to the nieces and nephews. Allie got some great toys from her Aunt’s and Uncles, also a very nice Princess Castle from Mom-Mom.
Christmas Day lasted two days for Allie’s Daddy’s side of our big family. We all got some great gifts and enjoyed spending time with each other.
This year has been a whirlwind of ups and downs. Everyone has their own experiences. Most of the year has been very pleasant and enjoyable.
A scrapbook for all your memories each year. Scrapbooking is a great way to save your pictures, trinkets and, keepsakes in a cute way. Especially when you have little ones.
This is my scrapbook page for Halloween. Not much going on because I just like the simple look sometimes.
(affiliate amazon link)
Christmas this year was so much fun! Allie really got into the opening of presents. She still asks if we have any more presents for her. “More presents for me now?”.
The Things I enjoyed this year
From blogs to songs to quotes to Pinterest boards
These are all the things I have loved this year
In no special order
I have listed a lot of these in my blogs to follow posts but they are such great blogs that they stand another mention:
Mom Advice – specifically her Notebook that she posts every Wednesday about the things she has done that week
Lady and the Blog – especially everything
The Every Girl – I love her Coffee Talk under the Wellness category
Modern Mom – Anything under her Parenting category
Vintage Revivals – I check out this blog when I’m looking for décor inspiration
Okay, I am going to preface this with something. I am a 33 year old woman with a 2 1/2 year old daughter. That being said, I hate “adulting”. So, I hold on to some seemingly “young”? things.
And, as such….. I am completely “fan girling” over this guy. (fan girl: behave in an obsessive or overexcited way).
Ladies, I am not kidding right now. I commented on 2 of his Instagram posts and HE LIKED MY COMMENTS.
This is a normal everyday guy who just happens to be known pretty well for his Vines. Also, He is a very talented rapper outside of that. He also has a Snapchat that I check constantly. (hence fan girl).
Always the #1: “This too shall pass” my mom
“Cheerfulness is the atmosphere in which all things thrive”
“Good, better, best. Never let it rest until your good is better and your better is best”
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started”
“Everyday brings new choices”
Allie’s Mommy and Daddy’s song:
I do not believe in New Year’s resolutions…
Why wait for a certain day to better your life? If you have something about yourself that you personally do not like, then do the things you need to do to change it now.
We all need to look at ourselves and evaluate the things that make us happy or bring us down. If there are things in our lives that do not help us move forward we need to move past those things. Life is more precious and important than what hinders us. Whether it be a person or an object or a habit. Take back your life.
Here is to hoping that 2017 is all that you need and want!!!
What is the one thing that you experienced this past year that you enjoyed the most??
I hope everyone has a happy healthy New Year!