Many times when we talk about parenting styles there is a negative connotation. So many people have their own ideas about what is right or wrong.
There are so many arguments about parenting styles:
-whether you breastfeed or not
-how long to breastfeed
-when is the appropriate time to potty train
-Is day care good or bad?
-work away from home or stay at home
-when is the right time to take away the pacifier? … and so on.
These kinds of questions can be disheartening, especially from the people we hold most dear in our lives.
Every family is different. Not every child can fit into a cookie cutter style.
The great thing about every person in this world is that we are all different.
If everyone were the same there would be a heck of a lot fewer people.
Don’t let anyone else make you feel inferior because you don’t do things the exactly the way they do all the time.
Every family situation is unique and your parenting style is definitely not going to be the same as anyone else’s. And that’s okay.
We don’t all have to fit a certain mold of parenting styles.
Do whatever works for your little family and makes you happy.
According to the work of Diane Baumrind in the 1960s, one commonly-referenced categorization of parenting styles, there are four…
- Authoritarian or Disciplinarian
- Permissive or Indulgent
“Authoritarian Parenting Styles
Authoritarian parents are often thought of as disciplinarians.
- They use a strict discipline style with little negotiation possible. Punishment is common.
- Communication is mostly one way: from parent to child. Rules usually are not explained.
- Parents with this style are typically less nurturing.
- Expectations are high with limited flexibility.
Permissive Parenting Styles
Permissive or Indulgent parents mostly let their children do what they want, and offer limited guidance or direction. They are more like friends than parents.
- Their discipline style is the opposite of strict. They have limited or no rules and mostly let children figure problems out on their own.
- Communication is open but these parents let children decide for themselves rather than giving direction.
- Parents in this category tend to be warm and nurturing.
- Expectations are typically minimal or not set by these parents.
Uninvolved Parenting Styles
Uninvolved parents give children a lot of freedom and generally stay out of their way. Some parents may make a conscious decision to parent in this way, while others are less interested in parenting or unsure of what to do.
- No particular discipline style is utilized. An uninvolved parent lets a child mostly do what he wants, probably out of a lack of information or care.
- Communication is limited.
- This group of parents offers little nurturing.
- There are few or no expectations of children.
Authoritative Parenting Styles
Authoritative parents are reasonable and nurturing and set high, clear expectations. Children with parents who demonstrate this style tend to be self-disciplined and think for themselves. This style is thought to be most beneficial to children.
- Disciplinary rules are clear and the reasons behind them are explained.
- Communication is frequent and appropriate to the child’s level of understanding.
- Authoritative parents are nurturing.
- Expectations and goals are high but stated clearly. Children may have input into goals.
WHAT ARE MY PARENTING STYLES?
Few of us fit neatly into one single parenting style, but rather raise children using a combination of parenting styles.
Think of the four styles as a continuum instead of four distinct ways to parent.
Ideally, we think about our children and what they need from us at specific points in time.
For example, while a parent might not typically adopt an authoritarian parenting style, there might be times in a child’s life when that style is needed. Or you might know an authoritarian parent who is nurturing, contrary to the description above.”
If you do feel like you are floundering in different areas of your parenting journey check out some parenting blogs.
Here are a few posts I recommend right now.
Here is a post if you are struggling as a stepmom…
At the end of the day, you decide what to do and what not to do for your family. No one else has the right to put you down for that. They have their own lives to worry about.
Let me know in the comments something another parent has told you that you were doing all wrong.
Vent it out here, and as Elsa says… LET IT GOOOOOO!!! 🙂
Share this post with your mom friends who also deal with the mom shaming.