Baggage Claim: What do we do with all this excess stuff?
We all have some sort of baggage. Depending on what happened in our lives, who we crossed paths with or how we emotionally handle stress. Everyone has baggage.
I believe that everyone has some sort of baggage. We just handle it in different ways. Sometimes it can overwhelm us and interfere in our relationships. I have always wondered how people deal with baggage. I know there is some baggage that people will absolutely not deal with for anyone. And that is our choice.
Different types of baggage:
Major problems with parents or family in general:
There are so many different reasons one could have baggage from family. It is usually from a parental problem but, can stem from other sources like siblings or cousins.
I think the biggest section of this category is resentment for a parent favoring one child over another. Like, feeling less loved because an older or younger sibling is getting more attention or is more successful in everything.
A lot of things can happen to make people fall into depression. There is no formula to track the symptoms or figure out who is more likely to be depressed. Different things effect people in many different ways. There should be no judgment, they have enough to deal with already. A support system is key to helping them.
Sometimes you can figure out that a friend might need help. They are moody; don’t feel like being social with others; they have low self-esteem and are critical of themselves; have lost interest in activities that used to make them happy; complains a lot and has a pessimistic view of the future; gets irritated easily and excels at starting arguments; and cries once in a while for no particular reason.
A significant other can definitely leave you with a great deal of emotional baggage no matter how long or intense your relationship was, and these experiences could make things a lot worse for your future relationships. And it applies to the people you date as well.
When you first start dating someone, ask yourself the following questions: Is this person still in contact with his or ex? Has the person you’re dating fully closed the romantic/need-for-attention door with the ex.
If you breathe even the slightest whiff of unfinished business with your date’s ex, you will make your life easier by heading toward the nearest exit sign. If the last relationship ended in a nasty or messy way, a person needs a year or longer to heal before being able to start a healthy relationship – which means not carrying baggage into the next one.
In the first few months of dating, he mentions his ex at least once per week; she still keeps pictures around or other mementos of the ex; you hear him mention the ex’s name when he’s talking to friends; he tries to get together with the ex for coffee or a meal soon after the breakup; or they compares you in any way to their ex.
When we’re willing to hold onto a person at all costs, even if that means losing ourselves, we’d rather have them on some terms, even if they’re crummy terms, rather than not at all. We decide that they’re the only way that we can be happy and we act as if they’re our oxygen supply. The very person who is actually contributing to our deep unhappiness is at the same time regarded as the primary or even sole source of our happiness.
While this person is suffering from excessive baggage, this relationship will hurt you in many ways so it is best to end it. If you decide to try to help them get through their hurt and move on that is your decision. But, try not to hang on to long because if they can’t move through it you are stuck as well.
Types of underlying baggage:
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVENESS: the indirect expression of hostility, through procrastination, stubbornness, sullen behavior, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish tasks for which one is responsible.
NO COMPROMISES: showing an unwillingness to make concessions to others, especially by changing one’s ways or opinions.
NOT HOUSE TRAINED: This is quite common. It could be that you swear like a sailor, or don’t clean your room, or eat with your mouth open, or pee on the toilet seat, or leave dirty underwear everywhere.
SELFISHNESS: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.
CRITICISM: the act of expressing disapproval and of noting the problems or faults of a person or thing.
BLAME: to say or think that a person or thing is responsible for something bad.
The first step to dealing with your emotional baggage is to admit that it does exist. Acceptance may take some people longer than others. However, remember that just because you accept that you have emotional baggage doesn’t mean you have to tell everyone! Overall, emotional baggage doesn’t need to stop you from living a full and happy life. Understand that every person has some emotional baggage, and don’t be afraid of what lies ahead!
If you are depressed or know someone who is please go ADAA and contact a doctor or family member.
In conclusion, at the end of the day take care of yourself first. You are the one that matters the most to you. Before you let anyone in make sure they are worthy of you.
Thank you for reading today. Hope I didn’t bore you to much. Have a wonderful day!
Allie’s Mommy 😛